Bad Rattitude

Some people are very "tetchy" about the rat poetry project. Here are some poems reflecting that.

In response to this e-mail to my dear rat-hating husband:

I think you need to contribute a poem to atone for your callous "burial" of Niccolo.
Love,

me

"No!"

I will

not write poetry

about

vermin that

you bring into

the house.

--Rat-Hater (2009----original)

Cryptic, no? Actually, this is the response I got:

It’s a cool page. I’ll try to come up with something soon.
Love,

me

Frankly, this response is even more worrisome than the one I made up. I am wondering if "soon" has the same meaning as in, "I will put up new gutters soon."

--Rat-Hater (2005---original)

Then a friend's response to my solicitation of rat poetry:

"Enough!"

Enough with

the
rat poetry
already!

--Dr. Elvis (2009---original)

Frankly, this one was very hurtful :-(

Then, a half-hearted (tho' strangely lovely) poem sent in by a friend:

"You want Rat poetry, ok."

A pity the fish that I did wish

to call my very own

for away she did swim

and closed the gates within

to leave me all alone.

I think about this fish

and how we did kiss

and sometimes pick up the phone,

but I know she's not there

(even tho she might still care);

so I hope she gets eaten by a gnome.*

This is my write, to be full spite

in other words, a coward.

If I had a dish, I'd get my wish

but I wouldn't name her Howard.

Happpy now?

*just kidding about the gnome part, I didn't mean it literally, I just couldn't think of anything else that scanned.

--Teddles (2009---original)

I fear that (A) this has nothing to do with rats per se. (B) it was "tossed off" rather hastily. (C) that Teddles, who is a precise grammarian, actually meant the extra p in "Happpy now?" simply to increase the sarcastic tone. I should also add that people who do not respond immediately with their own pseudonyms will have to live with mine.

Finally, I have also been guilty of taking the rat poetry less than seriously today. I am having ice-maker "issues", and poor little Niccolo has been replaced in my mind by wondering how "soon" these issues will be addressed.

"Ice Maker Blues"

My fridge is no longer making ice;

I think that is *so* not nice!

"Whatever will I do?" I think,

"Without cold ice to cool my drink."

"Is this rat poetry?" say you.

'Tis--- because rats like ice too.

-Tracinator (2009---original)

Well, at least I made a nod to rats at the end.

Do rats like ice? Hmmm....