Limeraticks

Ah... English department meetings... I can't begin to tell you how much I love them... While important discussions were taking place about the future of the English lab, classroom availability problems, course outlines, and standards for research papers, I was able to share a recipe with YD on my right and start a joint rat limerick with Mr. Grahame-Crackers to my left and Dr. Elvis across the table. Mr. G-C contributed the first line in a comment on a previous blog. Dr. Elvis chimed in with line two. It was, I must say, a difficult line to work with, so I enlisted the help of Nicodemus (my most faithful rat poet contributor) to provide either the two short middle lines or the last one. He shot back this one almost immediately:

"BC rat v. Clemson tiger"
There once was a ratty from Broward
Whose dad was a well-known coward.
But our hero rat
Was not scared of a cat
(Except for a tiger named Howard).

Kenneth Grahame-Crackers, Dr. Elvis, and Nicodemus (2010---original)

This limeratick was clever and "blogishable," but it violated my instructions, which clearly stated that I would be able to write part of the poem. Also, upon thinking about it further, I am a wee bit distressed by the inherent classist overtones. How can a mere rat from a community college possibly compete with a ferocious research university tiger? Nico came through though and sent the following:

"Lackman Culinary Services"
There once was a ratty from Broward
Whose dad was a well-known coward.
Our rat had this trait,
So this was his fate---
He was deep-fried (once breaded and floured).

Kenneth Grahame-Crackers, Dr. Elvis, Tracinator, and Nicodemus (2010---original)

I liked this one even better:

"Scratological Scratchings"
There once was a ratty from Broward
Whose dad was a well-known coward.
With lots of rat tinkle,
Other rats he would sprinkle,
And thus with much praise he was showered.

Kenneth Grahame-Crackers, Dr. Elvis, Nicodemus, and Tracinator (2010...original)

I then received this one (update note-- I actually wrote this one myself; wine and rat correspondence do not mix):

"Limeratick Pride"
Of all the limeraticks I've read,
This one sticks out in my head.
Many rat poems
May induce groans,
But this one is sure to be cred.

Tracinator (2010---original, but with a nod to wine)

Nico then sent the following, I believe (there could still be some wine "confuzzlement"), after the gem I knocked out above (for which I erroneously credited him since, even though he is into math, he has a way with words that outdoes the Tracinator):

"Untitled"
Of all the rat limericks I've written
(Even one who lived in a mitten)
This may be the worst,
But still it's the first
One with which I've been totally smitten.

Nicodemus (2010---original, but with a nod to G and T's, I think)

"Before You Pay Your Tuition..."
There once was a ratty from Broward
Who at college felt most empowered.
But he was a jerk
And did none of his work
And now on life he has soured.

Kenneth Grahame-Crackers and Tracinator (2010---original)

I also have a bawdy one, but since this post is growing rather long, and I am unsure about some of the wording, I shall save it for another time.